Crucial conversations

My husband and I went to a marriage conference where the speaker talked about communication and we learned some skills on how to approach "crucial conversations."  The speaker said to share the info with others so I am. 

What are Crucial Conversations?

When stakes are high, opinions vary, and emotions start to run strong, casual conversations become crucial.

Before you Begin:

A) Get your heart right

B) Get your head right

C) Make it safe

A) Get your heart right by asking yourself:

What do I REALLY want?

• for the problem
• for the relationship

B) Get your head right

Question your "stories" (motives you attribute to other people) by asking:

 

Why would a decent person do that?

 

C) Make it Safe

Ingredients of safety are:

• mutual purpose
• mutual respect

DON'T

• Start with an accusation
• A statement of emotion
• Conclusions or judgements
• Games
• Traps or leading questions
• Hot "condescending" words

 

DO

State your good intentions
State what you expected compared with what actually happened, and then ask why they were different.

 

 (never let exceeded expectations go by without thanking the person)

 

I found the info very helpful.